Monday, June 28, 2010

You Only Get What You Give...

I am sorry I have been away. I, like many of you, end up having hectic weeks and don’t even know where the time goes…
Oh time, what a precious commodity…

This got me thinking about how we spend time in the relationships we are in. More specifically, what you give in and what you get from a relationship. My focus is love/romantic relationships, but maybe this will apply to other relationships in your life. Are you giving more than you are receiving? Are you receiving more than you are giving?

You know exactly what I am talking about. It’s those moments where you say, “I do all of that for [insert name of boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/love interest] and they don’t do anything for me.” I have experienced that. I have been the woman in a relationship always giving, always going out of my way and always dropping everything for my boyfriend or love interest. I now wonder where the real me was hiding when all of this was going on? It’s one thing to be generous and giving and quite another to have someone take advantage of you.

About ten years ago, I read a book that changed my dating life forever. I learned you can only expect from a relationship, what you expect from yourself. Once I understood that, I understood that if I didn’t expect the most from myself, how could I expect that in a guy I was dating. No guy in the world could give me what I need.
That could and would only come from me.

I know you are thinking why would I put that much pressure on myself or why is it about me and not about them. Here’s the thing though, you are the master of your own life. You can choose who you date. You can choose to be happy or you can choose to feel sorry for yourself. I chose to work on myself and continue working on myself to get out of relationships exactly what I was putting in. I recognized that if I was not being the best version of myself, why would I expect that from the person I was dating. Of course, no one is perfect and people will disappoint you. However, it is important to remember that the last person you want to disappointing is yourself.

So I challenge you to think, what do I want out of the relationship I am in? What am I looking for in someone else? Am I giving too much and receiving too little? I am receiving too much and giving too little? This is all part of finding the love you want and the relationship you feel your best in.
So take the time and reflect.

Until next time honey bees...

Find the Love. Live the Life. Love the Life you Live.

With Love,

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